Welcome to Believe In Recovery!
My name is Amanda and I run this blog about recovery from all addictions, disorders, and general self-hatred.


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What's New
  • What are the Secrets of Success?
  • finally Updated the recovery ribbons!
  • Stuck on the Harmful People from Your Past
  • How to Cope with Change
  • Helping a Suicidal Friend via Facebook
  • Some Tips for Creating a Positive Impression
  • Depression in a Friend or Family Member
  • 5 Benefits of a Positive Attitude
  • Ending Your Life Is Not The Answer
  • Meaningful Ways to Help Others
  • 6 Steps in Learning to Love Yourself
  • Dealing with Negative or Difficult People
  • New theme! Thank you LOSTMEMENTO!
  • Guidelines for Healing Relationships
  • updated the self help page..
  • What to Look for in a Twleve Step Sponsor
  • Six Tips to Tame Negative Thoughts
  • How to Face Your Fears
  • 2nd giveaway winner: lookingfor-sophia!!
  • Stress Management Tips
  • Breaking the Cycle of Self Harm
  • Information on Anxiety Disorders
  • Help with Learning to Love Yourself
  • Stay Peaceful Around Stressed People
  • Improve your Self-Confidence
  • How to Support and be There for a Friend
  • enter to win my second giveaway!!!
  • 9 Ways to Be the Person You Wanted to Be
  • learn to Forgive Yourself Even You have Hurt Someone else
  • The 10 Commandments for a Good Life
  • What is Social Anxiety Disorder?
  • 8 Benefits of Smiling
  • 5 Easy Steps to Keeping your Cool
  • How to Cope with Flashbacks
  • Difference Between Bipolar & Depression
  • Why you should never give up
  • 6 Ways to Face Your Fear of Food
  • Steps to a More Positive You
  • do i have an eating disorder?
  • Coping with Depression
  • Tips for when you feel Angry
  • Dealing with a break-up
  • How to Gain Control of Your Emotions
  • coping with the loss of a loved one
  • get motivated in the morning!
  • PTSD: The Symptoms
  • how to leave the past behind
  • Signs of Internet Addiction
  • talk to one about their mental health
  • happiness Tips if you Have Been Hurt
  • add a recovery ribbon to your blog.
  • placed Ads onto site. please click!
  • 10 ways to turn around a bad day
  • Beating Anxiety
  • Cope with feelings of loneliness
  • giveaway winner is smiling-serenity!
  • Ten ways to get happy
  • 5 Meaningful Ways to Help Others
  • 10 Powerful Benefits of Change
  • finished with Recovery Chatrooms!!
  • Traits of a Confident Person
  • Sponsors



    Recovery Challenge: Day One


    To General Self Loathing;

    I know we’ve always been tight. I’ve never really liked myself, and I thought I had no reason too. You were my only friend, starting as early as second grade. No one that young should have to feel that useless, that pathetic, that paranoid. I didn’t make friends not because I didn’t want to, but because I was afraid they’d have hated me as much as I did. I took comfort in this constant, that at least one person in my life had the decency to be honest.

    But I’m breaking up with you. You have left me sitting in a pit I dug and telling myself that I deserve it. That is unacceptable. I’m leaving you for friends I will not be paranoid of loosing and the ability to be myself. I haven’t tried that one in a while, but I think I will soon. For those days where I could have been on the monkey bars and laughing and shouting and making friends and being a kid, I am leaving you in the dust.

    The girl whose life you can’t ruin anymore.

    What an awesome letter! You can beat this thing..
    Can’t wait to read your other answers!
    Oh and thanks so much for taking the 30 Day Recovery Challenge!..


    Dear eating disorder, 

    For years, I tirelessly tried to please you, but no matter what I did or how much weight I lost, it was never good enough. No amount of starving or binging could fill the void that you opened, and still to this day, making you happy is a goal that can never be achieved. Your standards are too high, your lust for bones too strong, and your embrace too tight. Your presence in my life has made me hollow and afraid to live, and for that, I can never forgive you.
    There used to be a time where I could face myself; where I could look in the mirror without shedding a tear or pulling at my skin in horror, but now, my every thought is so consumed by you that my own reflection has become my greatest enemy. 
    I’m writing you this letter to let you know that I’m ready to let you go. I’m ready to move on with my life and accept myself for who I am, fat or thin. 
    I’ve claimed to have been in ‘recovery’ for a while now, but never has the need to get better been more strong or more present in my mind. I’ve succumbed to your wishes of malnutrition and put my life at risk for too long. I will eat, I will wear the clothes I want to wear, and I will be who I want to be. Your hold on me is gone, and it will never come back.

    Sincerely, your old friend. 
    I hope to never hear your voice again. 

    Absolutely beautiful letter!!!
    Thank you so much for taking my recovery challenge

    30 Day Recovery Challenge, Day 1- A letter to your disorder


    Dear Anxiety,

    You’re a jerk and I pretty much hate you. You complicate life for me in ways you don’t even understand and make some of the simplest things unbearably difficult. I am also embarrassed most of the time because of you. I don’t understand why you do it, but I am learning to live with you. As much as I hate to admit it, you really do effect every aspect of my life. Looking back on the past 22 year of my life, you were always there. I am not sure why you’ve chosen the past four years to intensify, but I will not let you take me over anymore. I will fight until I overcome you.

    As much as you are a negative in my life, you are also a positive. Looking back on the last two years of my life when I was at my absolute worst because of you, I learned a lot. I grew a lot. I matured a lot. It was a long and painful experience but I wouldn’t change a thing because of the positive changes I made in my life once your wrath died down. It is a lot easier to deal with and overcome you on most days. Although it is still an uphill battle, I promise you won’t defeat me forever.


    Beautiful letter. 

    Try my recovery challenge, new year- time to start thinking positive!!  

    Day 5 - How do you want to be remembered?


    I want to be remembered as a person who experienced real life, and saw through the bullshit. Substances that alter one’s perceptions are just that: bullshit. I had been looking at them as forms of stress relief, but it’s far better to just deal with our emotions in a mature way, instead of covering them up or masking them. Getting high, drunk, or stoned does not make the problem(s) go away.

    The problems don’t go away.

    You just shove them in a closet for a while. So as I grow in my recovery, and also in my Buddhist path, I realize I want to be remembered as a person who experienced truth.

    30 day recovery challenge ~ Day 23


    Day 23 
    How would you deal if your (future?) child had your addiction/disorder? What would you say to them?

    This is something I do think about, as I have a child.

    I would try to be delicate about it, as I worry if I’m too ‘thou shalt not drink’ I’ll make him wanna do it more.

    I think to an extent it will depend on what he remembers of me as a drunk as to what his relationship with alcohol will be. I do worry though as both me and his father are addictive personalities (if there is such a thing).

    I hope we have a close relationship as he hits his teenage years where we can speak about such things without it being a conflict.

    I would tell him the truth about my drinking, as a story from the beginning at 13 to the end and tell him about the damages alcohol (and drugs) can do, and then I’d tell him that he would need to make up his own mind about drinking and maybe just to be mindful of his intake due to my history. And that I hope he would always feel he could talk to me about anything.

    I agree about making them wanting to do it more out of rebellion. This worries me too and I am childless. You make wonderful points here though. Communication is everything in a relationship.
    Thanks for all your wonderful answers :]]

    Day 17 - What in your life has improved since you entered recovery?


    First of all, I don’t feel as negative and hopeless as I used to. There are times, when I even feel quite positive. By admitting that I need help, I started fighting. Depression wasn’t cool anymore. I started thinking a lot, which made me understand many things about myself. This made me help change certain thinking patterns of mine. I was able to let go of past problems and people who’ve hurt me. Being able to move on was one of my greatest achievements.

    Also, I got to know new people. People from around where I live, whom I can actually meet every now and then.

    In general, entering recovery made me question my past decisions. I used to believe that I’ve always made the right choices and that there was only one way of living for me. Indeed, under given circumstances, those choices had been the best I could manage but this doesn’t mean that I can’t make different choices in future. It’s not too late to change my view on life. I’m still young and I deserve to be happy. Therefore, my attitude towards myself has improved. It’s not great yet, but it’s better then it used to be

    This is beautiful, love. It will keep getting better if your mindset stays the way it is now.  You have come so far! Keep fighting the good fight!

    Recovery Challenge

    Guys, I am so proud of you! Everyday I go through your answers of the recovery challenge (the people that tag them anyway) and I couldn’t be more moved. Some of you have uploaded pictures, have made new blogs just to do the challenge, do the whole thing in one day, don’t want to give the ‘cliche’ answer, and just make the most out of each question by being honest. I really hope that at least some of you are learning more about yourselves and your own recovery. As it states in the post, a lot of the questions were given to me as ‘homework’ from my addiction therapist. I wanted to share them with you because they helped me grow and become more positive in my recovery.

    I just wanted to say how proud I am of all of you. It’s really cool to watch people grow before your eyes. You all are worth recovery, no one so amazing should have to suffer. We are all one! We will fight our demons to the death!!!

    30 day recovery challenge

    Day 28 - What do you feel is your greatest strength?

    I didn’t think this would be a tough question, but now that I have to answer, it is.

    When I was an addict, my greatest strength was I could lie my way out of another lie. Lies, lies, and more lies.
    I would like to think at this point in my life my greatest strength is honesty. There is no reason to lie to anyone anymore. After finally being honest with myself, knowing I am powerless over drugs, I have changed my life forever. It’s the best feeling not having to remember stories I made up or trying to figure out ‘where I was the night before.’ You ask me a question? I’ll tell you the truth. This has helped my relationships grow tremendously. More importantly, being honest has helped me grow into the person I always knew I was.

    x 30 day recovery challenge

    Day 27 - Tell us a story about yourself in the midst of your addiction/disorder.

    So many stories, jeeze. When you live life only for the next fix, your lifestyle becomes insane. The things I could write about, it’s actually really sad. Doing drugs with a respected lawyer in a sleazy motel room, going to buy dope from a stranger in a very serious snow storm, the pawn shop calling the cops on ‘my friends’ and I, wondering around in the projects alone.. the list can go on and on about the lifestyle I used to lead. I could write a damn book! But instead, I will tell you about when I finally asked for help.

    Read More

    Day 26 - What would you say to someone if they told you ‘I give up on my recovery. It’s too hard.’?

    I feel like I get this question all the time, worded in all sorts of ways.
    Recovery is too hard? Yeah, it’s hard and a lot of work. But what will happen if you keep going down the path of destruction? I mean, you are worth so much more than you think of yourself. It’s so easy to give up and make excuses to stay down. Recovery does take work, work on yourself. A lot people don’t want to see themselves as they really are.. sick.
    Maybe recovery isn’t right for you now. Maybe you need to keep digging yourself in a hole. At some point, you can’t dig any further and your only option is to slowly go upwards. That’s me. I received so much help for myself but none of it worked. You know why? Because I wasn’t ready for recovery. I didn’t want to help myself, so outside help of course didn’t work. I tried to fake recovery but that just made me more and more depressed. At some point, I looked at myself and wondered what’s so bad about me? Why can’t I be happy and lead a positive life? Why do I do this to myself when I know deep down I am such a better person? Maybe you need to hit your own rock-bottom.
    Recovery is hard, that’s a fact. It takes someone who really wants better for themselves and knows they are so much more. Strength is something that is inside all of us but a lot of people in the world don’t use it. “Life is like a 10 gear bike, a lot of us have gears we never use.” Recovery a process, and there is no end destination. Don’t make you goal to be ‘recovered’, it’s too large, make a goal that you can achieve. Baby steps. If you relapsed after a month, make your goal two months.. then three. At some point, you won’t need to do that anymore. Recovery is hard, do you think you are worth it? If not, you will think so at some point.. and I just hope that when the realization happens, it’s not late.

    x 30 day recovery challenge

    Day 13 - Have your struggles changed you? For better or worse? Why?


    I believe that all the shit that’s happened to me, has happened for a reason. Everything I’ve been through has made me who I am today. I’d love not to have been raped, or developed an eating disorder, or ever started cutting, but by those things happening I’ve been able to help my friends and people on here with ed’s and self harm addictions, and I know a few girls who’ve been raped and I’ve managed to help them a little too. I’m honestly sort of grateful for everything that’s happened, because it’s made me a really strong person. I’ve learnt how to deal with things, and that I’m so much stronger than I ever thought I could be. So yeah, for the better. :’)

    Amazing. I love your positive mindset. I believe my struggles too, have made me an awesome person! Keep fighting girl!!

    Day 25 - What/who in your life makes you smile ear to ear? Why?

    Myself. My sobriety. My mom. My pops. My little bro. My cats. My boyfriend. Cesar. My music. Going to concerts. Going the the movies. Going to the park. Cooking. Art. Sewing. Collecting records. Getting a new pair of shoes. My bed. The sunshine. I am just so grateful for being alive, that even the littlest things make me smile these days. 

    x 30 day recovery challenge

    Day 24 - Has having a Tumblr helped or hurt your recovery? Why?

    Helped!! So much. At the beginning I just made my personal blog, hoping to just follow a few recovery blogs. For some reason it was hard for me to find any, that’s when I decided to make a secondary recovery blog.

    I started this blog in August when I was just a month clean, it was called Punk-Not-Junk. It was aimed towards people in recovery who lived an ‘alternative lifestyle.’ It started growing and growing. I changed it to BelieveInRecovery because I wanted to reach out to everyone in recovery, all types of addictions and disorders. And that’s exactly what I did.

    I can see why Tumblr can hurt other’s recovery. I had to stop tracking the tag ‘recovery’ because of how negative the posts were. I guess it really depends on your blog and you as a person. You can want to help people, but if you can’t help yourself first, you won’t get very far. Like on an airplane, they tell you in case of emergency to put the oxygen-mask on yourself before helping others. That metaphor is perfect for a lot of situations in life. OK.. enough rambling. ♥

    x 30 day recovery challenge

    Day 23 - How would you deal if your (future?) child had your addiction/disorder? What would you say to them?

    If I found out my future kid was addicted to heroin I would be unbelievably angry. If they were under 18, I would send them to rehab, no questions. If they were over 18, I would hold an intervention and follow through with the consequences.

    My mom enabled me so much when I was addicted, I don’t blame her at all though, I was very manipulative. Also, she had no idea about ‘the drug world.’ She would give money because she was scared that I owed a dealer and would be killed, which was never the case. She would meet me at the bank in the middle of the night, in her PJs, crying, to give me money out of the ATM.

    I know all too well about heroin addiction. The lying, stealing, the whole disgusting lifestyle. I will not tolerate that with my children, AT ALL. I plan on bringing them up with a good foundation and if they don’t follow through, I will not blame myself. Addiction runs in my family but that is no excuse. Tough love is what I plan on if any of my future kids turn to drugs. When my mom kicked me out, that was the best thing she ever did for my recovery. I can only hope I will be as strong as she is.

    x 30 day recovery challenge

    Day 22 - Favorite quote(s) to live by?

    There are 2 quotes that have always stuck with me, I am not sure who “said” either of them.

    1. "You are not defined by your mistakes"
    2. "Even the most beautiful rose bush has horse-shit in it’s roots"

    x 30 day recovery challenge

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